Ok, I really need to work on not dying in battle. As a little kid, I'm not able to do much politicking until I come of age. I've totally got this.
Foreign dukes see that there's a child on the throne and lay their claims against me. They have many allies, including my relatives in Aquitaine, but I have a better ally: Money. The mercenaries help me overpower their forces.
My eldest relative, a Duke of the realm, starts a faction to change the national succession type to Seniority, where the oldest member of the dynasty inherits the kingdom. I decide not to oppose him, mostly because I have no money for mercenaries, but also because I haven't been able to do much in terms of consolidating my territory during succession, so I might as well try something different for a while.
7 years later, I'm 16. I start some plots to have my youngest brother killed so I can inherit his land. I marry an much older Princess of England. If I marry anyone of too low a station, I lose a bunch of points, and no one likes that.
My next eldest brother comes of age and rebels. Once again, it's money and mercs to the rescue. He's in jail. I've revoked his dukedom. More power falls into my hands...
I'm finally able to bribe the spymaster of my youngest brother, and have him killed off. However, I'm revealed as the culprit! I've gained the Kinslayer attribute, which means everyone hates me now.
Another relative of mine, a Duke, claims the kingship. I have money this time around, so I crush his rebellion, revoke a title of his, and throw him in the dungeon. However, I've been excommunicated, and all kinds of people are declaring war on me. Not a happy time. Luckily, I've got tons of reparation money people have been paying me when they lose wars to me, so I have plenty of mercenaries...
Oh crap I've died in battle. Well, the rebellion is put down, but now super ancient dude Duke Lleweyen is King now. I only had a daughter anyways, so I guess this isn't a terrible turn of events. I have discovered a plot where his son is trying to kill him to inherit his land, though. Which is even dumber now, because with the new method of succession, he won't even inherit my lands anymore.
He won't stop his plot regardless, and he has a ton of backers....
Great I've been assassinated. Woohoo. Didn't have much time to get anything done, anyways...
Well well. One of the Dukes I threw in prison is now the King. He managed to survive the oubliette for long enough to see the throne. Unfortunately, he is terrible at everything. I'll have to see if I can get to Primogeniture succession soon...
To be continued...
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Crusader Kings 2: Time to restore the proper monarch to the throne (And that means me)
1174
Ok, I've had enough of other people ruining my kingdom. (And it is mine, btw.) The current king of Scotland and Ireland has greatly depleted his forces. The time to strike is now. I've conspired with the other Dukes of Ireland, who don't like bowing to a foreign king, to join my rebellion. I've also hired those dumb swiss mercenaries again, this time with enough money in the bank. Onwards to war...
1178
That didn't take too long. The throne of Ireland is mine, once again!
1180
Now that we've taken back the throne from the foreigners, though, the Dukes are restless. However, I've been saving up quite a bit of money, and I'm able to put down the rebellion with the help of some mercs.
1181
The rebellious duchess is in the dungeon! I'll take the title Duke of Munster from you, thank you very much.
1183
I've married my son and heir Giselbert to a Princess of England, Leofrun. Should be handy for the sake of alliances.
1185
Giselbert has a daughter. Hopefully he'll have a son, too...
1188
Well, that didn't take too long. He named him after himself, how tasteful.
A crusade has begun! Well, let's see if I can lend a hand this time...
1190
Well, I died in battle. Sigh...
At least this time, I only had one heir. Finally, I can get away from the succession nonsense! Long live king Giselbert!
Ah geez, my wife is pregnant again, hopefully it's a daughter this time...
1191
Nope, it's a son. Crap. Time to practice celibacy.
Outside of the Knights Templar, I'm the biggest contributor to the crusades!
1195
Too bad no one else is helping, and the crusade is lost....
1197
Ok, I've got this great plot. I'll betroth my son to an heir of Scotland, and put her on the throne. Then their children will inherit both Ireland and Scotland! The war is on!
Oh crap, her liege changed and the new one doesn't want her to marry my son! D:
Oh crap, I've died in battle D: D: D:
Not only that, I've got 3 sons now! I didn't have enough time to make them bishop of some place or other, or marry them into other families, so now my heir is about 9 years old and has hardly any land under his direct control. Ugh. Long live King Giselbert the Second! Hopefully.
1198
I've put that lady on the throne, but it's not helpful at this point. Ugh. What a disaster.
To be continued....
Ok, I've had enough of other people ruining my kingdom. (And it is mine, btw.) The current king of Scotland and Ireland has greatly depleted his forces. The time to strike is now. I've conspired with the other Dukes of Ireland, who don't like bowing to a foreign king, to join my rebellion. I've also hired those dumb swiss mercenaries again, this time with enough money in the bank. Onwards to war...
1178
That didn't take too long. The throne of Ireland is mine, once again!
1180
Now that we've taken back the throne from the foreigners, though, the Dukes are restless. However, I've been saving up quite a bit of money, and I'm able to put down the rebellion with the help of some mercs.
1181
The rebellious duchess is in the dungeon! I'll take the title Duke of Munster from you, thank you very much.
1183
I've married my son and heir Giselbert to a Princess of England, Leofrun. Should be handy for the sake of alliances.
1185
Giselbert has a daughter. Hopefully he'll have a son, too...
1188
Well, that didn't take too long. He named him after himself, how tasteful.
A crusade has begun! Well, let's see if I can lend a hand this time...
1190
Well, I died in battle. Sigh...
At least this time, I only had one heir. Finally, I can get away from the succession nonsense! Long live king Giselbert!
Ah geez, my wife is pregnant again, hopefully it's a daughter this time...
1191
Nope, it's a son. Crap. Time to practice celibacy.
Outside of the Knights Templar, I'm the biggest contributor to the crusades!
1195
Too bad no one else is helping, and the crusade is lost....
1197
Ok, I've got this great plot. I'll betroth my son to an heir of Scotland, and put her on the throne. Then their children will inherit both Ireland and Scotland! The war is on!
Oh crap, her liege changed and the new one doesn't want her to marry my son! D:
Oh crap, I've died in battle D: D: D:
Not only that, I've got 3 sons now! I didn't have enough time to make them bishop of some place or other, or marry them into other families, so now my heir is about 9 years old and has hardly any land under his direct control. Ugh. Long live King Giselbert the Second! Hopefully.
1198
I've put that lady on the throne, but it's not helpful at this point. Ugh. What a disaster.
To be continued....
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Crusader Kings II: The stupid things kings do
Succession went a little better this time than the last time. One of the sons inherited Aquitaine, so they had enough issues that they didn't bother claiming Ireland. The heir I am now playing, Domnall II, King of Ireland actually controls a few vassals in Aquitaine. His youngest brother inherited the Duchy of Ulster.
This guy has basically no good points, besides the fact that he's a fantastic administrator. I guess collecting taxes is important, but really, not a very exciting strong point. he also has NEGATIVE prestige, something I think is pretty ridiculous for someone who is the freaking KING.
1162
The Duke of Ulster starts throwing his weight around, and angers his vassals. He sacks that bishop I had been trying to assassinate as the last king, and tries to push around the the Count of Ulster. However, this ends badly for him, and he's killed in battle. Luckily for me, he has no heirs, and I'm next in line to inherit the title! Thank the heavens for incompetence.
Those rebels in Aquitaine who fought my father are still fighting. My army is smaller than before, but still plenty large enough to put them in their place.
1163
Meanwhile, I'm not liking my wife so much... Domnall the Second wasn't under my character's control, so he joined someone else's court. Then he married someone who had no skills and was too old to produce children. Nice way to get heirs...
Luckily for me, no one likes her, so I start a plot to assassinate her. Well, when divorce isn't allowed, sometimes drastic measures are necessary...
An accomplice poisons her wine during a banquet. Success! I mean, darn, I totally wish I knew who was responsible for that...
1164
I've married Isabelle, Princess of France! She's apparently quite attractive. And also, half my age (33-16, about). Uh, things were different back then... >,>;
1165
My wife is pregnant! Huzzah!
...
Hey, stop judging me.
I'm marrying some of my sisters to forge some new alliances. Marrying one to a Prince of Poland. She's ambitious, so also trying to get her out of my court...
My son is born to his teenage mother!
...
I said stop judging me.
December 1165
And I've contracted syphilis.
Seriously, stop judging me.
1166
Well, something really really dumb happens. One of my vassals demands I hand the throne over to my uncle, who you may remember has been in jail for the past 15 years or so. There's no way the rebellion would succeed! Just gotta click the "Over my dead body!" button...
Oops, I clicked the "I surrender!" button. FUDGE.
Well, now I've lost most of my lands to my uncle who has no court and no loyalty of anyone and no armies! Great! Everyone with a claim on the throne just throws their hat in the ring and go at it! None of my allies want to help! This is just peachy!
I declare a rebellion, as well, and demand my throne back, but of course my uncle is not going to give it to me.
Winning the war would have been easy, except my brother, King of Aquitaine, is sending thousands of troops ashore, and the King of Scotland is pressing the claim of his Queen. The Queen of Scotland happens to be my cousin, from one of the political marriages I had made earlier. Not only that, some random Scottish Duke of the Isles ALSO has a claim! I don't even know this guy! WTF GET OFF MY LAWN!
Unfortunately, between Scots and the Island people, there are 17 thousand foreign troops taking over everything. I hire a bunch of Swiss mercenaries to reinforce my now meager army. We siege the capital of Dublin, and I lay in wait...
Unfortunately, this time I run out of money to pay the mercenaries. And seeing how making money is the whole point of being a mercenary, they rebel. And start invading Ireland. RAAAAAAAAARGH
They easily crush my army, and I have no choice but to wait until I have enough forces and money to hire MORE mercenaries to fight the first ones! Jeez!
1172
After waiting around for a couple years, I finally have enough troops and money to get rid of the stupid Swiss mercenaries. By this time, Scotland has won the war for Ireland. The forces of Aquitaine have been drained.
However, the Duke of the Isles presses his claim further! And now that my cousin is on the throne of Ireland, her husband has no interest in defending it! The armies of Ireland have been depleted such that the Queen must relinquish her vassals in Aquitaine! So once again, there are thousands of troops laying waste to the country side! RARGH!
I've started another independence faction, and married my son to a princess of Navarra, but they're too busy fighting the Muslims to help me do anything. Without an army, the Queen must give up her throne to the Duke of the Isles. Peace returns to the land, under a foreign ruler. The nobles are restless. I send my council to attempt to gain their loyalty for another civil war. Let's see if I can take back what I accidentally gave up...
To be continued
This guy has basically no good points, besides the fact that he's a fantastic administrator. I guess collecting taxes is important, but really, not a very exciting strong point. he also has NEGATIVE prestige, something I think is pretty ridiculous for someone who is the freaking KING.
1162
The Duke of Ulster starts throwing his weight around, and angers his vassals. He sacks that bishop I had been trying to assassinate as the last king, and tries to push around the the Count of Ulster. However, this ends badly for him, and he's killed in battle. Luckily for me, he has no heirs, and I'm next in line to inherit the title! Thank the heavens for incompetence.
Those rebels in Aquitaine who fought my father are still fighting. My army is smaller than before, but still plenty large enough to put them in their place.
1163
Meanwhile, I'm not liking my wife so much... Domnall the Second wasn't under my character's control, so he joined someone else's court. Then he married someone who had no skills and was too old to produce children. Nice way to get heirs...
Luckily for me, no one likes her, so I start a plot to assassinate her. Well, when divorce isn't allowed, sometimes drastic measures are necessary...
An accomplice poisons her wine during a banquet. Success! I mean, darn, I totally wish I knew who was responsible for that...
1164
I've married Isabelle, Princess of France! She's apparently quite attractive. And also, half my age (33-16, about). Uh, things were different back then... >,>;
1165
My wife is pregnant! Huzzah!
...
Hey, stop judging me.
I'm marrying some of my sisters to forge some new alliances. Marrying one to a Prince of Poland. She's ambitious, so also trying to get her out of my court...
My son is born to his teenage mother!
...
I said stop judging me.
December 1165
And I've contracted syphilis.
Seriously, stop judging me.
1166
Well, something really really dumb happens. One of my vassals demands I hand the throne over to my uncle, who you may remember has been in jail for the past 15 years or so. There's no way the rebellion would succeed! Just gotta click the "Over my dead body!" button...
Oops, I clicked the "I surrender!" button. FUDGE.
Well, now I've lost most of my lands to my uncle who has no court and no loyalty of anyone and no armies! Great! Everyone with a claim on the throne just throws their hat in the ring and go at it! None of my allies want to help! This is just peachy!
I declare a rebellion, as well, and demand my throne back, but of course my uncle is not going to give it to me.
Winning the war would have been easy, except my brother, King of Aquitaine, is sending thousands of troops ashore, and the King of Scotland is pressing the claim of his Queen. The Queen of Scotland happens to be my cousin, from one of the political marriages I had made earlier. Not only that, some random Scottish Duke of the Isles ALSO has a claim! I don't even know this guy! WTF GET OFF MY LAWN!
Unfortunately, between Scots and the Island people, there are 17 thousand foreign troops taking over everything. I hire a bunch of Swiss mercenaries to reinforce my now meager army. We siege the capital of Dublin, and I lay in wait...
Unfortunately, this time I run out of money to pay the mercenaries. And seeing how making money is the whole point of being a mercenary, they rebel. And start invading Ireland. RAAAAAAAAARGH
They easily crush my army, and I have no choice but to wait until I have enough forces and money to hire MORE mercenaries to fight the first ones! Jeez!
1172
After waiting around for a couple years, I finally have enough troops and money to get rid of the stupid Swiss mercenaries. By this time, Scotland has won the war for Ireland. The forces of Aquitaine have been drained.
However, the Duke of the Isles presses his claim further! And now that my cousin is on the throne of Ireland, her husband has no interest in defending it! The armies of Ireland have been depleted such that the Queen must relinquish her vassals in Aquitaine! So once again, there are thousands of troops laying waste to the country side! RARGH!
I've started another independence faction, and married my son to a princess of Navarra, but they're too busy fighting the Muslims to help me do anything. Without an army, the Queen must give up her throne to the Duke of the Isles. Peace returns to the land, under a foreign ruler. The nobles are restless. I send my council to attempt to gain their loyalty for another civil war. Let's see if I can take back what I accidentally gave up...
To be continued
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Crusader Kings II: King of Things
One good thing that comes out of the execution of Elionora is the end of rivals to the throne. Another rebellion by the last remaining brother of the king is quickly put down, and that brother will spend the rest of king Domnall's reign in a jail cell.
1152
Duke Toirrdelbach is in jail for his betrayal to the crown.
1154
I marry my daughter Sofie to the Emperor of the Byzantine Empire. Should be a handy alliance, although the empire is rather trashed right now...
My daughter in law, the Count of Ossory, passes away. Her toddler daughter inherits the title, maybe I can convince her to join my kingdom...
The pope decides that even though I've been taking out my family members left and right, he'll offer me forgiveness for my sins. Just have to spend a pile of money. Sounds like a good deal.
1155
The baby countess of Ossory has joined the Irish kingdom. Finally on the track for expansion...
The remaining pieces of Ireland belong to the Petty Kingdom of Munster, and the County of Leinster. One of my council members has a claim on Munster, so it looks like I can claim the whole region for him at once, rather than taking it over piece by piece.
However, during the war, King Domnall is badly maimed. This will shorten his life for sure....
1157
My mother Queen Judith of Aquitaine has died, and I've inherited the kingdom! Aquitaine is a huge part of France. Of course, there are a bunch of squabbling nobles who hate my guts...
I'm taking on Leinster, now, and proven my mettle in battle! Despite being a maimed cripple. Somehow.
1158
My mother's nobles have demanded independence! So what if I've never been to Aquitaine? All your base are belong to us, dammit. My armies are not really strong enough to take them on, but luckily for me I've got that alliance with the Byzantine Empire, and my wife is a princess of the Holy Roman Empire, so there's that. The army that crushed the rebellion I had earlier is now saving my butt. Weird.
I've been trying to assassinate a vassal bishop who is loyal to another lord, and the chance is at hand! I've got a huge pile of manure underneath an inn he frequents, and he'll soon be sent sky high in a giant explosion!
Or not. He discovered the trap. How could you possibly find a giant pile of stinking manure? Oh wait...
1160
King Domnall dies of his wounds! Well, while he was doing pretty well, he was still kind of a dick for executing me earlier. He also has 3 sons, so there are going to be some more inheritance shenanigans...
To be continued
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Crusader Kings II: Crisis of Succession
Ok, everything seemed to be going fine. I mean, the last succession went off without a hitch, right? Unfortunately, house I am a part of has gavelkind succession. That means that every son receives some of the titles of his father. How many sons did I have? 4. So the first born got the kingdom and a duchy, but there are 2 duchies under my name, and many counties. The second eldest son got a duchy with 4 counties, and the next son also received a county.
All that, and everyone hated the new kings guts.
Within one year, the next 2 brothers in the family both demanded the kingship. I said they could rot. War was on.
Early on in the war, things didn't seem so bad. I won a couple battles, and even killed one of my brothers vying for the throne. Victory seemed within grasp.
However, it was not to be. King Finnsnechtae was killed in battle against the usurper's armies. I now play as his eldest daughter, Elionora. Shouldn't be too hard.. wait, she's freaking FOUR YEARS OLD. Plus, gavelkind succession hits me again, because one of the counties I had control over now goes to my younger sister.
With the Scots and my own freaking grandma siding with my evil usurper uncle, I have no choice but to surrender thing kingdom.
The only goal of Elionora is revenge. (Vicious little toddler...) Of course, as a baby, that's not exactly possible. It will have to wait.
Years go by. The new king has sent his armies to assist his foreign allies in war. His troops are depleted. With the help of mercenaries, victory should be all but certain. I manage to assassinate my younger sister and inherit her domain. 15 years after the death of her father, Elionora will have her revenge...
Elionora demands the crown. Her uncle refuses. War is declared. His army is pitiful and easily crushed. Siege is laid to his castle...
But his allies come to his rescue. The Scots come in over the sea, as does the entire freaking army of the HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE. more than 17 thousand troops lay siege to Elionora's keep. Even with 12 thousand men, a larger army than any of her ancestors ever commanded, she fails to break the siege. Her army is crushed. Her treasury is empty. Armies occupy every one of her territories. There is no choice but surrender.
Elionora is imprisoned and executed. Having killed her sister, no successors remain from her father's bloodline.
But...
Since the kinslayer king is still a member of my dynasty, he is now the first in line to inherit the mantle of the dynasty. So, after spending 15 years trying to get revenge on the usurper uncle, I now AM the usurper uncle!
To be continued
All that, and everyone hated the new kings guts.
Within one year, the next 2 brothers in the family both demanded the kingship. I said they could rot. War was on.
Early on in the war, things didn't seem so bad. I won a couple battles, and even killed one of my brothers vying for the throne. Victory seemed within grasp.
However, it was not to be. King Finnsnechtae was killed in battle against the usurper's armies. I now play as his eldest daughter, Elionora. Shouldn't be too hard.. wait, she's freaking FOUR YEARS OLD. Plus, gavelkind succession hits me again, because one of the counties I had control over now goes to my younger sister.
With the Scots and my own freaking grandma siding with my evil usurper uncle, I have no choice but to surrender thing kingdom.
The only goal of Elionora is revenge. (Vicious little toddler...) Of course, as a baby, that's not exactly possible. It will have to wait.
Years go by. The new king has sent his armies to assist his foreign allies in war. His troops are depleted. With the help of mercenaries, victory should be all but certain. I manage to assassinate my younger sister and inherit her domain. 15 years after the death of her father, Elionora will have her revenge...
Elionora demands the crown. Her uncle refuses. War is declared. His army is pitiful and easily crushed. Siege is laid to his castle...
But his allies come to his rescue. The Scots come in over the sea, as does the entire freaking army of the HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE. more than 17 thousand troops lay siege to Elionora's keep. Even with 12 thousand men, a larger army than any of her ancestors ever commanded, she fails to break the siege. Her army is crushed. Her treasury is empty. Armies occupy every one of her territories. There is no choice but surrender.
Elionora is imprisoned and executed. Having killed her sister, no successors remain from her father's bloodline.
But...
Since the kinslayer king is still a member of my dynasty, he is now the first in line to inherit the mantle of the dynasty. So, after spending 15 years trying to get revenge on the usurper uncle, I now AM the usurper uncle!
To be continued
Monday, February 3, 2014
Crusader Kings 2, Succession and Expansion
Crusader Kings part 2
It looks like I'm still getting action as the king, this time with my nephew's wife... Man, what is so attractive about this guy?
Marrying more of my relatives off, why not? Have to build up a strong dynasty... Maybe his wife will make him less depressed
1098
More bastard children by my own relative's wives... geez, old man... no shame...
1099
A plague! gross!
I gave one of my nephews an earldom, this time he's actually under me!
1101
Someone is trying to take my land, but I manage to assassinate his chancellor before he can make a claim to it.
1103
My daughter is set to marry the king of Scotland! Hope you like your cynical craven husband >,>; At least he's King. And also around the same age.
1111
Ah well I finally croaked. King Domnall of the Petty Kingdom of Ulster is no more! Long live his son, King Faelan! On to the next generation!
1112
More daughters... runs in the family?
Oh crap, my poor wife, Princess Astrid of Sweden died of pneumonia! T.T
Time to find a new wife: Princess Judith of Aquitaine!
Oh we've got a son already! That was fast! Finnsnochtac! Just rolls of the tongue...
1114
Alright, time to expand the petty kingdom! The county of Breifne is mine!
1115
No need to stop there! On to the petty Kingdom of Connacht! I'm kicking some ass in battle, too!
Wasn't able to add it to my kingdom... yet...
1117
I've been wounded! Those never get infected, right? Middle age medicine is so advanced.
1120
Oh geez, once again, the king can't keep it in his pants... Lady Sioban is falling for his advances...
1129
Some Scottish Duke Brice of the Isles was trying to claim my counties, but I've crushed him in battle and thrown him in jail! What a wuss!
1130
Hey, I've got a grand daughter! I guess people lived longer back then than I give them credit for. Eilionora has a much better name than her dad...
1131
Creating a new duchy, the Duchy of Tara! So close to claiming all of Ireland as my own...
1132
Finally scraped enough money together to become King of Ireland! Still some counties outside of my control, but I'm sure that can be fixed...
However, the stress of the job is getting to me... Got to hold it together...
I've increased the authority of the crown. Now even vassals that hate me have to give me some of their troops.
I've fallen ill... not going so well, here...
1133
Luckily, the illness has passed. That could have turned out badly... I'm helping my Scottish allies fend of the Norwegians.
Got another grand daughter, Cacht!
1135
Oh darn it... I've died of stress on the job! And I've unfortunately become a little bit too prodigious, I have way too many sons! 3 brothers have inherited large portions of the realm... This can't end well...
To be continued...
It looks like I'm still getting action as the king, this time with my nephew's wife... Man, what is so attractive about this guy?
Marrying more of my relatives off, why not? Have to build up a strong dynasty... Maybe his wife will make him less depressed
1098
More bastard children by my own relative's wives... geez, old man... no shame...
1099
A plague! gross!
I gave one of my nephews an earldom, this time he's actually under me!
1101
Someone is trying to take my land, but I manage to assassinate his chancellor before he can make a claim to it.
1103
My daughter is set to marry the king of Scotland! Hope you like your cynical craven husband >,>; At least he's King. And also around the same age.
1111
Ah well I finally croaked. King Domnall of the Petty Kingdom of Ulster is no more! Long live his son, King Faelan! On to the next generation!
1112
More daughters... runs in the family?
Oh crap, my poor wife, Princess Astrid of Sweden died of pneumonia! T.T
Time to find a new wife: Princess Judith of Aquitaine!
Oh we've got a son already! That was fast! Finnsnochtac! Just rolls of the tongue...
1114
Alright, time to expand the petty kingdom! The county of Breifne is mine!
1115
No need to stop there! On to the petty Kingdom of Connacht! I'm kicking some ass in battle, too!
Wasn't able to add it to my kingdom... yet...
1117
I've been wounded! Those never get infected, right? Middle age medicine is so advanced.
1120
Oh geez, once again, the king can't keep it in his pants... Lady Sioban is falling for his advances...
1129
Some Scottish Duke Brice of the Isles was trying to claim my counties, but I've crushed him in battle and thrown him in jail! What a wuss!
1130
Hey, I've got a grand daughter! I guess people lived longer back then than I give them credit for. Eilionora has a much better name than her dad...
1131
Creating a new duchy, the Duchy of Tara! So close to claiming all of Ireland as my own...
1132
Finally scraped enough money together to become King of Ireland! Still some counties outside of my control, but I'm sure that can be fixed...
However, the stress of the job is getting to me... Got to hold it together...
I've increased the authority of the crown. Now even vassals that hate me have to give me some of their troops.
I've fallen ill... not going so well, here...
1133
Luckily, the illness has passed. That could have turned out badly... I'm helping my Scottish allies fend of the Norwegians.
Got another grand daughter, Cacht!
1135
Oh darn it... I've died of stress on the job! And I've unfortunately become a little bit too prodigious, I have way too many sons! 3 brothers have inherited large portions of the realm... This can't end well...
To be continued...
Friday, January 31, 2014
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings 2. A game of dynastic lineage, which allows you to control a noble house through the European middle ages. Sounds interesting.
First step is to pick a house to play as... Uh... not sure...
I guess I'm going to go with a random small time noble and try to work my way up. Earl Domnall of Oriel it is!
Ironman mode it is! I've never played before, what could go wrong?
Ok, September 15th, 1066... Let's see what we got...
Hmmmm... 36 years old and no wife and no sons? Geez, what is wrong with this guy? He's practically ancient! (in medieval years, anyways.) Time to go hunting for a marriageable lady out there, hopefully with huge... tracts of land...
So many choices!
Uh, how about this one? Hunydd, a welsh courtier?
Alright, marriage request away!
That was easy...
Let's see, what's next?
Let's try to produce an heir. Seems like a pretty medieval thing to do.
Oh no, my half brother wants a wife, too? geez.
Not many options... Oh well, so what if she's only 15 >,>;
Maybe time to expand? Send the spymaster to a neighboring county, let's see what happens.
Half brother is ready to get married...! Princess Ingrid of Denmark, not a bad catch.
1068
I need an heir, time to get... hedonic.
Accumulating some money so I can get some mercenaries to attack next door.
Time to sow some dissent before I go in for war...
1071
More sons, but not for the king... what a sad dude.
Finally pregnancy! >,>;
Oh no, a daughter!
Oh well, no son for you. Let's get over our sadness by hiring some mercenaries and going to war, shall we?
Alright, thanks to a mass of mercenaries, we won the battle! Time for the siege!
1072
That was pretty easy. Now ht earl of 2 counties!
Uh oh... looks like I uh... bonked my sister in law... She's now my lover, luckily my brother doesn't suspect anything. (Maybe that's why I'm the earl...)
Still no son, so the only logical conclusion is more crazy partying!
Oh dear, my lover Princess Ingrid is pregnant >,>; No birth control in 1072?
1074
Affair is becoming stressful... But if I go chaste I won't get an heir... gotta keep it up...
1078
My nephew has murdered my daughter D: Imprisonment it is!!! You'll die in the oubliette!
1079
Taking over more earldoms... Ulster is mine!
Huzzah! A son at last!
1079
Oh dear, I've been excommunicated at the request of the last lord I deposed, and it seems my crazy partying is keeping them from returning me to the church...
Oh well, might as well keep partying, at this point, why not?
1081
Oops, my brother wanted his own territory, and I didn't realize I would totally lose control of it! Oops! Plus, I'm still his wife's lover, and now she's like all the way in the other county >,>;
1085
After 5 years of bribing the pope, I'm finally back in the church!
1087
Man, guy is getting old, it's been 20 years since his reign began at the age of 39. But apparently he's still got it where it counts, another (legitimate) baby is on the way! (Not to mention the couple of children by my lover...)
1089
Hah! He's still falling for it! That daughter of yours certainly has my eyes....
1093
All right, after years of trying to fabricate a claim on a neighbor, it's finally time to take it over!
Victory is so easy!
1094
Ugh, my lover is annoyed that I might love my wife more than her! Time to end this relationship...
I've decided to go honest! (After lying about my affair for uh 26 years)
Alright, I've got my son married to a princess of England. Hopefully that will prove useful in the future.
I'm now the duke of ulster! (Dukes have more power than counts, which I was before.) The entire region is mine by right! Time to bow before me! (Well you should have been doing that before, but lower this time!)
To be continued...
First step is to pick a house to play as... Uh... not sure...
I guess I'm going to go with a random small time noble and try to work my way up. Earl Domnall of Oriel it is!
Ironman mode it is! I've never played before, what could go wrong?
Ok, September 15th, 1066... Let's see what we got...
Hmmmm... 36 years old and no wife and no sons? Geez, what is wrong with this guy? He's practically ancient! (in medieval years, anyways.) Time to go hunting for a marriageable lady out there, hopefully with huge... tracts of land...
So many choices!
Uh, how about this one? Hunydd, a welsh courtier?
Alright, marriage request away!
That was easy...
Let's see, what's next?
Let's try to produce an heir. Seems like a pretty medieval thing to do.
Oh no, my half brother wants a wife, too? geez.
Not many options... Oh well, so what if she's only 15 >,>;
Maybe time to expand? Send the spymaster to a neighboring county, let's see what happens.
Half brother is ready to get married...! Princess Ingrid of Denmark, not a bad catch.
1068
I need an heir, time to get... hedonic.
Accumulating some money so I can get some mercenaries to attack next door.
Time to sow some dissent before I go in for war...
1071
More sons, but not for the king... what a sad dude.
Finally pregnancy! >,>;
Oh no, a daughter!
Oh well, no son for you. Let's get over our sadness by hiring some mercenaries and going to war, shall we?
Alright, thanks to a mass of mercenaries, we won the battle! Time for the siege!
1072
That was pretty easy. Now ht earl of 2 counties!
Uh oh... looks like I uh... bonked my sister in law... She's now my lover, luckily my brother doesn't suspect anything. (Maybe that's why I'm the earl...)
Still no son, so the only logical conclusion is more crazy partying!
Oh dear, my lover Princess Ingrid is pregnant >,>; No birth control in 1072?
1074
Affair is becoming stressful... But if I go chaste I won't get an heir... gotta keep it up...
1078
My nephew has murdered my daughter D: Imprisonment it is!!! You'll die in the oubliette!
1079
Taking over more earldoms... Ulster is mine!
Huzzah! A son at last!
1079
Oh dear, I've been excommunicated at the request of the last lord I deposed, and it seems my crazy partying is keeping them from returning me to the church...
Oh well, might as well keep partying, at this point, why not?
1081
Oops, my brother wanted his own territory, and I didn't realize I would totally lose control of it! Oops! Plus, I'm still his wife's lover, and now she's like all the way in the other county >,>;
1085
After 5 years of bribing the pope, I'm finally back in the church!
1087
Man, guy is getting old, it's been 20 years since his reign began at the age of 39. But apparently he's still got it where it counts, another (legitimate) baby is on the way! (Not to mention the couple of children by my lover...)
1089
Hah! He's still falling for it! That daughter of yours certainly has my eyes....
1093
All right, after years of trying to fabricate a claim on a neighbor, it's finally time to take it over!
Victory is so easy!
1094
Ugh, my lover is annoyed that I might love my wife more than her! Time to end this relationship...
I've decided to go honest! (After lying about my affair for uh 26 years)
Alright, I've got my son married to a princess of England. Hopefully that will prove useful in the future.
I'm now the duke of ulster! (Dukes have more power than counts, which I was before.) The entire region is mine by right! Time to bow before me! (Well you should have been doing that before, but lower this time!)
To be continued...
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